Being too sensitive can lead to a host of problems--mostly imaginary

Most singles don't see being too sensitive as a problem, but their friends might.

Our greatest artists, writers, actors and entertainers have been perceptive, emotional people. They seem to live life more intensely, and that's where trouble starts.

Things that wouldn't bother others send them into a funk. An unintended critical remark can result in deep depression, while a compliment can unleash giddy euphoria.

It's like these people's emotions are on overdrive. Are you one of them? Are you involved with someone who is?

Confessions of a formerly sensitive single

I confess that everything used to upset me. I took a slight and blew it out of proportion, stewing over it for days or even weeks. As a writer, I had to deal with a lot of rejection, and it wasn't easy.

See, the irony is, you have to be a fairly sensitive person to be a writer or artist, but the nature of the business is that you also get turned down a lot, which can be hard on a fragile ego. We can learn much from criticism, yet if we don't look at it objectively, if feels like a personal attack.

I spent a lot of my life beating myself up before I realized I was my own worst enemy.

That's no way to live, believe me.

Why being too sensitive is common among singles

We singles can be guilty of being too sensitive simply because we don't have anyone to act as a brake. We come home to an empty house or apartment, think about something that irritated us during the day, and before long it's like a snowball rolling downhill, gaining momentum and getting bigger and bigger.

Before long we're all upset, maybe even sick because of these runaway thoughts. When you've done this most of your life, as I did, you think it's normal. You think, "That's just the way I am."

As I say somewhere else on this site:

Life's lamest excuse is saying, "That's just the way I am."

Don't do what I did. Don't keep yourself all shook up for no reason. Don't let being too sensitive turn your life into a nightmare.

Love beats stubbornness

Sometimes you see this happening. Sometimes a friend or relative gives you a well-intentioned word of advice.

For once, don't snap back at them and say it's your right to make yourself completely miserable. Try to calm down. Take a step back. Listen. They love you, and they're probably right.

I know. You can take personality tests that tell you you're a Type A person, or whatever. You're hard-wired to go off on a rant, verbally or mentally.

But the real question here is whether you want to stop doing something that's self-destructive. God didn't give you a body and mind so you can wreck them by constantly hammering away on them. Remember that your thoughts have power. They can make you happy or miserable.

This is a case in which you have to love yourself enough to give up your stubbornness. It's not a matter of dumping your entire personality. It's a matter of realizing that you don't have to work yourself into an anxious state any more.

Like everything, you have to admit you have a problem. Sensitivity is a wonderful quality, but not when it's misused.

No, the world is not out to get us

As unbelievable as it seems, the world is not out to get us, and the sooner we singles get that truth lodged firmly in our belief systems, the better chance we have of gaining some objectivity.

Yes, many days things go wrong, but dwelling on the bad things gives them a life of their own. Why water a weed?

Much of this change takes desire. Once you make the decision that you want your life to be different, to calm down and not let everything bother you, you're well on your way. Keep in mind that your emotions are there to serve you, not vice versa.

Know too that you're not going to turn into some cold character like Mr. Spock if you decide you're being too sensitive. You'll still have plenty of emotions, believe me, but they won't lead you around by the nose like they used to. You'll enjoy your newfound sense of control.

This isn't easy, but it is worthwhile. Don't give up. Make your goal to gradually get better, not perfect. You want to strike a balance, checking yourself when your thoughts start racing like a driverless car.

Being too sensitive is not a crime, but it can be a punishment. Isn't it about time you started enjoying your life again?

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