Funny quotes remind us to lighten up

If you like to laugh, you're healthy. These funny quotes may evoke one of God's most precious gifts--laughter.

Someone once said that man is the only animal capable of laughing. Obviously that someone never owned a dog.

The best gift I received when I was fighting cancer was a joke book. My Aunt Camilla Svetz, who gave it to me, had a wonderful sense of humor, and that thoughtful gift is one of my best memories of her. She appreciated the healing value of laughter.

Maybe these funny quotes will only make you smile. But I hope you'll find a few that will make you laugh out loud.

Inspiration-for-singles.com is not a joke site. You'll find plenty of great, clean joke sites on the Web. But we know the worth of occasionally being able to laugh at yourself and the world.

Enjoy these funny quotes!

I was so ugly when I was born, the doctor slapped my mother.
Henny Youngman

Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
Jack Benny

A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, "Are you comfortable?" The man answers, "I make a nice living."
Milton Berle

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
Jackie Mason

An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.
Will Rogers

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance--waiting for the bathroom.
Bob Hope

This greasy spoon restaurant was so bad, on the menu there were even flies in the pictures.
Richard Lewis

I went to the psychiatrist, and he says "You're crazy " I tell him I want a second opinion. He says, ‘Okay, you're ugly too!"
Rodney Dangerfield

Sincerity is everything. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
George Burns

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
Johnny Carson

How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
Steve Martin

The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.
Slappy White

A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
Ronnie Corbett

I saw the most beautiful cars in the window of a dealership recently. A salesman came out and said: 'Come on in. They're bigger than ever and they last a lifetime!' Later I learned he was talking about the payments.
Corbett Monica

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior'.
Rita Rudner

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
Lily Tomlin