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This explains so much..."
March 16, 2021

March 16, 2021 Issue #180

Everybody is afraid: What to do with that truth

Everybody is afraid, no matter how big, strong, or powerful they are. Every person on this planet has secret fears which run their life.

What does that mean for you and me as singles? How can that knowledge help us make more sense of the world around us?

Many people who realize the widespread presence of fear become bullies. We see it every day. There are bullies in the workplace, in politics, in the media, and in relationships. There's a pandemic of bullies today.

That's not for Christians. Instead, we want to learn how to handle bullies when we encounter them. We want to act compassionately toward people who are afraid. And, we want to understand why we're afraid so we trust God more, becoming bolder and more courageous.

Take a short journey with me to explore the reasons why everybody is afraid.

Two little words

Two little words handcuffed my soul,
and kept me from breaking free.
How did I let them take control?
Can I shatter their power over me?

I've come to expect them every time
I want to try something new.
They come and commit their cruel little crime
and then my all plans fall through.

Why do I listen? Why do I quit?
Why do they spoil my life?
How can I put an end to it
and stop this misery and strife?

"What if?" they demand, but it's not asked in kindness.
It's a threat to stop me cold.
I need to quit giving in to this blindness
and step out, courageous and bold.

"What if I fail?""What if I lose?""What if I get rejected?"
That "What if?" leads to hesitation
and missing the chance I expected.
That's why I live in frustration.

So I tried new questions to turn things around:
"What if I win?" "What if they like me?" "What if I succeed?"
That's when my spirit became unbound,
and my worries fled in a stampede.

Now I don't let "What if?" get under my skin.
My soul soars up high with the birds.
And I have regained my daring again
by conquering those two little words

~ Jack Zavada,, 2021 ~

Here's how to prevent avoidable trouble

Trouble in life falls into two categories: unavoidable trouble, and avoidable trouble.

Unavoidable trouble hits everyone, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. On the other hand, a lot of the problems you will go through are entirely avoidable.

The secret to preventing avoidable problems in the first place? Wise choices and wise thinking.

This is not about fear. It's about using someone else's experience to get a faster, less painful education. How?

Hope for Hurting Singles This book covers in detail the hard times I encountered in 45 years in the single life, the solutions I tried that failed, and the solutions that succeeded. Sooner or later, you'll have to deal with:

    Low self-esteem

What sounds smarter? Struggling with these problems through your own trial-and-error, or learning from my trial-and-error?

All this makes perfect sense, right? Hope for Hurting Singles sells for $10.99 in paperback or $3.99 for the Kindle version. Next time you're lying in bed at night worrying, get up and make yourself a note to order Hope for Hurting Singles the next day!

Hope for Hurting Singles is an investment in your future, single friend, because trouble comes to everyone, no exceptions. It's just a matter of when.

Hope for Hurting Singles will show you how to avoid a lot of it, and how to deal with the stuff you can't avoid. Take it from somebody who has already been there!

Order Hope for Hurting Singles right now on!

March QOTM: Think about how you think

Psychotherapist and author Thom Rutledge offers this gem as our March Quote of the Month, from his book Embracing Fear:

The great majority of emotional distress we experience results from how we think about ourselves and our circumstances, rather than the circumstances themselves.

~ Thom Rutledge (1954 - ) ~

Problems loom large in our imagination. The more we fear them, the bigger they grow. How many times have I thought, "Jack, this one is going to be the end of you?" And yet I'm still here. Somehow, God got me through.

Maybe Satan or one of his little demon buddies makes us exaggerate things. I don't know. All I'm sure of is that God is not weak or incompetent, even if I am at times. I have trouble being objective. It's tough to examine your fears and realize you're getting carried away.

But it's necessary. Next time you're afraid of something, make a real effort to step back, calm your emotions, and remind yourself your Father can kick the stuffing out of anything in the universe, including your circumstances. He really can.

Easter and singles: Preview of things to come

When I was in college, I took a class on ancient mythology. I enjoyed studying about the Greek and Roman gods, but when I finished the class, I came to an inevitable conclusion.

All those gods and goddesses were pretty stupid.

They behaved like overgrown human beings. None of them were really wise, and they cared about mortals only to the extent that humans could satisfy some need they had. Besides, their stories were entirely make-believe.

In contrast, the real God, the 3-Person Holy Trinity, is wise beyond comprehension. A couple months ago, I asked myself, "If I were the wisest being in the universe, what would be the most important thing to me?"


Love is the greatest good. It elevates human beings to their best. Love makes people sacrifice for others, love reduces selfishness, love teaches people kindness. Love is such a profound quality of the True God that the apostle John said, "God is love." (1 John 4:16, NIV)

We singles want love. We want to be loved and appreciated for who we really are, but just as importantly, we want someone we can love and treasure in return. Nothing feels better than to love and be loved.

God's love is different from human love. His love never grows cold, never fails, and never ends. We think being loved by another person is the greatest gift in life, but the truth is the best gift is to be loved unconditionally by God.

Why does the wisest being in the universe choose to love you and me? There's nothing in us that deserves it. No, God loves us because he can't help himself. He gives us the best thing He's got and wants us to love Him in return.

Easter remains the ultimate expression of God's love for you, when he gave His only Son to die on the cross for your sins and mine. We need a reminder of God's love more than once a year; every weekend in church works for me.

This Easter, let the holy day reinforce the truth of God's love for you. That love burns as hot as a blast furnace and is brighter than all the stars in the universe. We can't fully grasp it on earth, but in heaven it will transform us with eternal life, satisfying every need we could ever have.

Each newsletter is a piece of the single life puzzle

If the single life is a complicated puzzle, the pieces are hard to find and even harder to fit together.

For the past 15 years, I've been writing these newsletters and trying to supply you with pieces of that puzzle. Some things I knew when I started Inspire-O-Gram back in 2005, but others I have learned along the way. It's a challenging but fun job.

I doubt if any of you have been subscribers the entire 15 years, but luckily my web host has been archiving every newsletter so you can go back and read the feature articles, poems, and quotations in the back issues.

Some wise readers have reminded me in the past year that God is using me to produce these newsletters and the web site This is a difficult truth for me to comprehend.

On one hand, I don't want to be like the big-haired TV evangelists who claim God "speaks" to them and tells them exactly what to say, but on the other hand, thoughts that appear in these newsletters often are beyond my own ability and wisdom.

In some way I don't understand, God uses whatever talents and experiences he gave me to come up with this material every month. The bottom line is I want to give glory to God and not to myself.

There are two parts to every Inspire-O-Gram: first, the newsletter that comes to you by email, and second, the accompanying articles on I want to assure you in the strongest terms I can, you can trust the links in this newsletter.

We've all been taught, and rightly so, not to click on every link we see, but this is a Christian newsletter. You will not expose your computer or yourself to any malware, porn/ography or list capture. I try to present ideas that are practical and relevant to the single life and are also based on biblical principles. That's why I ask for your feedback every month.

I know my Contact Form with the Captcha screening is a pain, but it's necessary to prevent spambots from harvesting my email address. The Contact Form is redirected to my personal inbox. It's found contact form here.

Thank you once again for reading. I hope you enjoy each month's newsletter and that the pieces are falling into place for you. We'll never solve the single's puzzle in this life, but with the Bible and answered prayer, we can all grow closer to Jesus over time.

Until April,

Jack Zavada

PS: Not a Christian? Find out how to become one!

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