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Ever feel inferior?"
March 15, 2023

March 2023 Issue 204

Inferiority feelings: Shedding the shackles

If you've ever been to an event where most of the attendees were married couples, you probably felt uncomfortable. If your church overemphasizes marriage and family, you may ask yourself, "What about me?"

For many singles, feelings of inferiority go back to our childhood. I was an awkward, skinny boy who was bullied in school. Today I'm an awkward, skinny old man in a culture that says you're irrelevant when you pass 60.

How do we deal with this? How do we prevail over messages that tell us we don't measure up? You don't have to take the radical step I did, but I believe you'll find some help in this exploration of feelings of inferiority.

You are a hero

When you rise in the morning
and look in the mirror,
are you disappointed
at the way you appear?

When they picked the teams
were you chosen last?
Do you still feel hurts
from a distant past?

Have you given up
on your hopes and dreams?
Is life a struggle
for you, it seems?

Before you relive
your pain and loss,
stop for a moment
and look at a cross.

You were loved
before the world began.
God picked you
as part of his beautiful plan.

He thinks you're special,
one of a kind.
He will heal your heart;
He will soothe your mind.

He will help you see;
He will make you wise.
'Cause you are a hero
in his eyes.

It's the truth that changes
every thing you do.
Walk tall in the love
God has for you.

~ Jack Zavada,, 2023 ~

Others struggled so you don't have to

You need to know two things about the problems you're going through: 1) They're normal for single people, and 2) Others have overcome these challenges before you.

That's why Hope for Hurting Singles can help. It will make your troubles less intimidating and give you practical, proven solutions you can use right away.

Really, why go through painful trial-and-error yourself when you can benefit from others' experience? Learn how to overcome loneliness, depression, anger, bitterness, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Find out what works and what doesn't!

Hope for Hurting Singles combines biblical principles and the effective tools of cognitive behavior psychology.

This is a Christian, common sense approach. When you apply the teachings of Jesus to everyday life, you enlist the Holy Spirit's help in everything you do. That's when real change happens! Hope for Hurting Singles is available in paperback for $10.99 or $3.99 for Kindle version from

March QOTM: The changed life

You've heard of John Newton, the Anglican clergyman who wrote the hymn "Amazing Grace." Earlier in his life, he captained slave ships and was briefly a slave in Africa himself. After being ordained, he crusaded for the end of the slave trade. Our March Quote of the Month by Newton is true of every devoted Christian:

"I'm not what I ought to be, I'm not what I want to be, I'm not what I hope to be, but thank God I'm not what I used to be."
~ John Newton (1725 - 1807) ~

Sanctification is both an instant happening and a lifelong process. When a person is born again, God sanctifies, or sets them apart for holiness. Then the Holy Spirit works on us throughout our life to grow our spiritual maturity.

This is good news for singles who have feelings of inferiority. You and I are not what we want to be yet, but by abiding in Jesus Christ, we become more and more of what God wants us to be.

Don't be discouraged. Life is not about competing with other people. It's about applying the Word of God in your life. God approves of you, and that's what really matters.

Are singles losers?

I don't need to tell you there's a lot of pressure on singles to get married. In many countries, it's a cultural thing. In evangelical Christianity, we're told being married and having a family is "normal." It's always married people who imply that.

The unspoken message is: "If no one has chosen you for marriage, you're a loser." Not only is that false, it's also cruel. Only God gets to decide who is a loser. That's why he created Hell.

If you have ever felt like a loser because you're single, here are three things to remember.

The impossible event that changed everything forever

They laughed at him then and millions are still laughing at him today. When Jesus of Nazareth prophesied he'd be raised from the dead, nobody believed him, even his own closest followers.

Then it happened. This dead man did come back to life. His little band of apostles died as martyrs because they knew it was true. They had seen his living body and touched him with their own hands. The apostle John, the only one who died of natural causes, wrote in the book of Revelation that Jesus is coming back once more.

No one knows when that will be, but harbingers of it are happening all over the world. April 9 of 2023 we'll celebrate Easter, a commemoration of Jesus's resurrection. I hope Easter finds you in church rejoicing, as I will be, thanking him for the eternal life he has given us.

This and that

It's a confusing time to live. Manipulation is rampant. Everybody wants to control your thinking, from TV pundits to advertisers to social media influencers.

But here's the solution: Let Jesus control your thinking. Here's why: He loves you, with no ulterior motives. He teaches the best way to live. He always tells the truth. He is God! Read your Bible so you know what Jesus wants you to do.

Surrender yourself to the Holy Spirit and ask for discernment. And, as Charles Stanley says, "Obey God and leave the consequences to him."

On another topic, I'm wrapping up a special project, a new ebook I'll be making available f/ree. I think you'll find it worthwhile and encouraging. More as things develop.

Your comments on this newsletter or the web site are always welcome. Please use our unhackable contact form and your email will forward directly to my personal inbox. I'll get back to you within a day or two.

Thanks again for reading and allowing me to visit with you this month. Remember, fellow singleton, when you feel discouraged, grab onto God and don't let go! He'll get you through it. Happy Easter!

Jack Zavada
PS: Not a Christian? Find out how to become one!

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