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Getting over disappointment..."
July 17, 2018

July 17, 2018 Issue #148

Getting over disappointment

Disappointment. It comes in all shapes and sizes, from somebody getting the last parking space ahead of you to losing someone you love. Hardly a day goes by without a disappointment of some kind.

This month we’re going to review some ways to bounce back from life’s hurts and do it quicker. Obviously some disappointments take longer to get over than others. Serious losses cause grief, and we all grieve in our own way and our own time. But for everyday setbacks, I believe these observations can help.

As singles, what’s our choice? We can either learn to get over these upsets or we can become bitter and depressed. Sadly, many folks go with the second choice. Several months ago we looked at the difference between seeing yourself as a victim or as a survivor. Getting over disappointment is a requirement for survivors.

I’m a two-time cancer survivor and 67 year- old guy who has never been married. And those are just the major disappointments in my life. But as I was writing this month’s feature article, it occurred to me that many of you out there have had a much harder life than I’ve had. Can I teach you anything? I honestly don’t know. You’ll have to be the judge. But I do know this: It’s better to be optimistic than pessimistic. Hoping for the best turns the single life into an adventure instead of a dreadfest.

If you’re Christian like me, you can look to the apostle Paul as a single person who approached life with gusto. He was a guy who had the stuffing beaten out of him for following Jesus, not just once but several times. Shipwrecks, robberies, insults and ridicule were among his disappointments, yet he kept moving and didn’t let them stop him. And what was his secret?

”I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13, NKJV)

Despite a lifetime of letdowns, I remain hopeful but realistic, so here are this month’s thoughts on getting over disappointment.

The idealist

They call me an idealist,
And I have to say that’s true.
I always try to seek out good
In everything I do.

But seeking isn’t finding,
And the good takes time to see.
Sometimes it simply isn’t there;
Life has no guarantee.

I made my mind up long ago,
That doom and gloom’s no good.
And pessimists are sour folks
With faces made of wood.

So often I get bumped and bruised
But still I carry on.
I’ll take the best, eject the rest
Until the day I’m gone.

There’s room for more idealists;
No cynics are allowed.
Despite the disappointments,
We’re a pretty happy crowd.

~ Jack Zavada, 2018 ~

'Hope' now available for Kindle!

It’s finally here: Hope for Hurting Singles: A Christian Guide to Overcoming Life's Challenges is now available in Kindle format.

And, for a limited time, I’m offering it for the low price of only $3.99. If you have a Kindle, that’s a substantial savings over the paperback edition.

Why am I doing this? I could very well be nuts, but more likely it’s an introductory promotion for loyal readers of Inspire-O-Gram. Or it could be to get those all-important Amazon reviews. Or maybe it’s because I’m just a very nice guy. Who cares? The price is low now, so act now. It could go up at any time. You never know!

Friends, Hope for Hurting Singles: A Christian Guide to Overcoming Life's Challenges is practical, in-the-trenches tips on the problems we all face, gathered from my 40+ years in the single life.

No, it’s not about dating. Would a never-married 67 year-old guy be an expert on dating? I think not! You want a dating book? Hey! Don’t look here. Instead, you’ll get the best guidance I can give you on such common problems as

  • Loneliness
  • Shyness
  • Rejection
  • Depression
  • Self-esteem
  • Fear
  • Bitterness
  • Peace of Mind
  • Faith

Whether you’re looking for that special someone or not, Hope for Hurting Singles: A Christian Guide to Overcoming Life's Challenges will simply help you enjoy life more. And who doesn’t want that?

July’s QOTM comes from a singing lady

For July’s Quote of the Month, we turn to Beverly Sills, operatic soprano:

“You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.”
~ Beverly Sills (1929 - 2007) ~

Ms. Sills, who flopped at many auditions early in her career, knew that the only way to get the things you want in life is to try. Without trying, you don’t have a chance at all. When’s the last time something you wanted fell out of the sky and landed at your doorstep? Could it be like…never?

And while we’re at it, you’ve probably heard the quote from the character Yoda from Star Wars: ”Do or not do. There is no try.” Stupid. You hear a lot of dumb things in movies and that’s one of them. Remember, this is a puppet, not a real being. Unless you try in the first place, there is no ”do.”

Here’s the nugget: If you follow Jesus, He’s always there to catch you when you’re disappointed. You don’t have to go it alone. What’s more, he gives you the strength to keep trying. That’s love, single friend.

Just let God love you!

Gosh, we singles are good at beating ourselves up.

We feel guilty about mistakes we made decades ago. A chance remark sends us into a funk for weeks. We look into the mirror, compare ourselves to the most popular movie star, then wonder why we can’t look that good too. We can find a million things to feel sad about. We’ve become experts at looking at life sideways.

It’s time to give yourself a break! You don’t need to be the bestest best at anything. You don’t need to be drop-dead gorgeous, and you don’t need to be brainier than Stephen Hawking.

All you have to do is be the unique person God created you to be. He loves you exactly as you are, so relax and just let God love you.

Somewhere we got the notion we’re not lovable because we’re not married. But who has the best taste in the Universe? God! And he’s madly in love with you.

It’s an irrefutable fact and the Bible confirms it. God knows a great thing when he sees it, and He sees it in you.

Don’t argue with Him. Don’t doubt it. Don’t put yourself down. Accept your blessing and let it turn your life upside down. It’s the truth, so you’d better get used to it. Open your heart today and just let God love you. It’s the only way to live!

Life’s top two questions answered in the Bible

Arguably the two most important questions in life are: What do I really want? and How do I get it?

I believe the answers to these questions can be found in the Bible. Most of us, once we cut through all the delusions, would say we really want to be deeply loved for who we are. We spend all our life looking for that love.

Many people turn love into their god, becoming obsessed with it. The Bible, however, says just the opposite: ”God is love.” (1 John 4:16)

When we discover that God is the source of the greatest love in the Universe, the Bible also supplies us with the way to get that love: Believe in Jesus Christ.

Except we really don’t believe God’s love is better than human love. After all, we can’t see or touch Him. We can’t go on dates with Him. We can’t marry Him and have a family with Him.

Remember this and sink it deep into your heart: God is not a consolation prize. God is what we really want. Augustine, a man who tried every kind of pleasure in life, finally said, “You have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless, until they can find rest in you.”

Solomon said much the same thing a thousand years earlier in the book of Ecclesiastes. Throughout the Bible, we see one example after another of stumbling, bumbling misfits, wrecking their lives because they sought everything but God. The Bible tells us God is seeking us. Jesus is the shepherd looking for the lost sheep, and that sheep is you.

Fellow singleton, having a spouse is a good thing. There’s nothing wrong with it. God blesses marriage. But seek first the LORD, and you’ll be shocked at what He does in your life.

That’s our July issue. To send me an email about this newsletter or any other topic, use our secure contact form.

Thanks again for reading, single friend. I hope you enjoyed this newsletter,

Jack Zavada
401 Indiana Ave
Streator, IL 61364 USA

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