Beating yourself up is a pattern
you can change, with God's help

Are you guilty of beating yourself up?

I don't mean physically, but psychologically. We all do it sometimes, and we singles seem to do it more often than married folks. But God doesn't like it. He doesn't want you to treat yourself that way.

This is what God thinks of you:

" are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you..."
(Isaiah 43:4, RSV)

God sees you as a person of such infinite value that he sacrificed his only son to restore you to him, so you can live with him in heaven for the rest of eternity.

"I'm a klutz..."

Beating yourself up means you call yourself cruel names. You berate yourself for mistakes large and small. You tear yourself down instead of building yourself up.

It's a dangerous pattern to get into, because every time something bad happens, you blame yourself, as if your critical opinion of yourself has become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If you stop to think about it, you say mean things to yourself that you'd never say to other people. You label yourself as incompetent, stupid, lazy, or undeserving.

Beating yourself up: Who do you see?


When you look in the mirror, who do you see? Do you see someone who was created in God's image, with intelligence, emotions, desires, and an eternal soul? Or do you see someone who can never do anything right, who seems to be a magnet for abuse, whose life is never going to get any better?

Let me tell you that your critical, blaming view of yourself is wrong--flat out wrong.

Maybe someone else has controlled or manipulated you into believing you're worthless, but that isn't how the Creator of the very universe sees you. One of my biggest regrets with this web site is that I am humanly incapable of getting across to you just how much God loves you.  It's a colossal, explosive love, completely without limits!

so who are you going to believe? This loving, compassionate God who wants only the very best for you, or a another person who makes himself or herself feel big by making you feel small?

Start right here

Stop being so critical of yourself. You can stop, you know. To quit it, start believing in God's love for you instead.

Admit that your image of yourself has been wrong. Leave all the accusations, criticisms and put-downs behind. You're moving on.

You're doing a complete overhaul of your self-esteem. You're going to start slowly, but you're going to start.

Belittling yourself is something that you control, so you can stop it. This is a gift you owe yourself, a present that you are worthy of.


God loves you so much. The Bible is his love letter to you. Read it.  Find a short verse you like and memorize it, then repeat it often to remind yourself of the truth about you.

You're turning things around. The days of beating yourself up are over. You've fired that nasty critic and hired a kind, new encourager. Good things are ahead.

You finally see who you really are--a person who, with the help of God, is going to find a happy, fulfilling, whole new life!

Proven ways to be kind to yourself

Sometimes, we're our own worst enemy. If that sounds like you, Hope for Hurting Singles can help.

This 202-page paperback will bring you the same kind of encouraging, practical advice you've found on this website--because they're both by the same author.

Jack Zavada's strategies work. They're based on his 50 years of trial-and-error in the single life. Many of the ideas he tried didn't work, but he included those too, so you can avoid them, saving time and pain.

Hope for Hurting Singles will make you feel better about yourself and your future. This is a Christian book, showing you how to enlist God's help to tackle trouble.

Order your copy today: only $10.99 in paperback at or $3.99 for the Kindle edition.

Read the whole first chapter FREE right here!

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