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Don't believe this myth about singleness..."
May 18, 2021

May 18, 2021 Issue #182

Why you're NOT going it alone

When life overwhelms you, it's easy to feel you're going it alone.

Over the years, however, I have learned that the God Who is Invisible is more real than some people I know. He is the Father who overflows with love, the Friend who never leaves, and the Encourager who never grows tired of my complaining.

Singleness can feel like a punishment at times. Some singles consider it a curse. We do better to think of it as a mystery, a state we will never understand until we get to the other side.

But going it alone? That is a worldly judgment by people who do not know God and by Christians who let their feelings overrule the facts.

Let's be uncompromising with the truth. Take a few minutes to see why you're absolutely NOT going it alone.

Home in me

Late at night when faith is fading,
not a thing seems real or true.
These words whisper soft invading,
"Abide in me and I in you."

I contemplate His ancient promise.
To me it seems a mystery.
How can I make my home in Him,
how could He make His home in me?

Only love can be the answer,
when hearts open in desire,
binding one soul with another,
joy and longing's holy fire.

Can this passion last forever?
Burning brighter every day?
Christ has come to live inside me,
sworn to never go away.

Now I have a hope unshaken,
lasting through eternity.
I have made my home in Him;
He has made his home in me.

~ Jack Zavada,, 2021 ~

"Got it all together yet?"

The beautiful people think they've got it all together, until the market nosedives. Brainy people think they've got it all together, until life-threatening illness hits them.

Single people think they've got it all together until they're surprised by things like loneliness, depression, or anger.

If you'll be brutally honest, you'll admit you don't have it all together. That's why you'll benefit from Hope for Hurting Singles.

Hope for Hurting Singles is a book about those troubles that catch single people off-guard. Here's why it's for you: Author Jack Zavada wrote it as an instruction manual on what to do—and what NOT to do when these common problems hit you.

This isn't the story of Jack's life. It's the story of your life, using Jack's experience to give you options when you're confronted with tough decisions. Why guess when you can learn what happened to him?

Want to make wiser choices? Get your copy today from $10.99 for paperback, $3.99 for Kindle version.

McDowell is May's QOTM guy

May's Quote of the Month comes from evangelist and author Josh McDowell:

While the resurrection promises us a new and perfect life in the future, God loves us too much to leave us alone to contend with the pain, guilt and loneliness of our present life.

~ Josh McDowell (1939 - ) ~

When I was searching for this month's quote about going it alone, this one fit the subject but attracted me for another reason. I appreciated McDowell mentioning "the pain, guilt, and loneliness of our present life."

That's interesting because he has a wife and four adult children. Despite that, he has experienced what we singles know. It's part of the human condition. Sometimes even married folks can feel as if they're going it alone.

A spouse and family don't cure that condition. God does. Paul calls him the "God of all comfort." (2 Corinthians 1:3, NIV) It's not a matter of imagining him with you; it's a matter of claiming him. He is there. Believe and live in his love.

How to cut WAY down on those 'bad days'

I confess to having a lot of "bad days" during my life, but as I've gotten older, I've been having fewer and fewer of them.

The main reason is I've been retired for several years and am no longer in the workplace—a burbling, overflowing fountain of frustration. Another reason is the emotional maturity that can come with age.

But right now, I'm going to let you in on some things that took me decades to pick up. Have I told you I'm a slow learner?

Engrave this quote from psychologist William James into your memory and never forget it: "The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes."

Having a bad day is largely a matter of perception. It's how we interpret and respond to circumstances that makes all the difference. We don't have to act like a martyr when things don't go as we'd like. That's a choice. And why keep choosing this knee-jerk reaction when it makes you miserable?

Friend, I was guilty of this behavior for years. I saw myself as a bad luck person, one of those persecuted souls who have their own personal rain cloud following them around. Somewhere along the way, I woke up and said, "Jack, you don't have to be that way any more." And I quit it.

Life is so much better when you dominate your circumstances instead of letting them dominate you. Doubt you can do that? If I can, so can you. It's not easy at first. You have to break the habit of whining, whether out loud or in your head. I did both.

Once you understand you don't have to ruin a whole day by feeling like a victim, the battle's half over. The other half is plowing ahead, letting nothing else faze you the rest of the day.

I recently expanded an article on how to make this change in your own life. Take a look at how to stop having a bad day.

The underappreciated pleasure of going to church

Do you go to church? Back up…do you belong to a church?

For the serious Christian, going to church is one of the greatest privileges in life. Some of you reading this may not be able to attend church in your country, but Jesus understands.

I didn't always feel so excited about church. For many years, I dreaded going. The pastor was ill-prepared and gave sermons that stressed not the Bible but legalistic church rules. When I changed churches in 2010, my life turned around.

You see, hearing the Word of God in person is like eating. You get fed, but it's not a once-and-for-all thing. You keep needing nourishment, in this case spiritual nourishment, for as long as you live.

If you don't belong to a church, I encourage you to join one, and if you do belong, please attend regularly. It's a joy and a privilege!

An update on last issue. I published an article on not being a doormat. Let me just add that while I believe Christians should be humble, I strongly believe that no woman, Christian or unbeliever, should put up with harassment, physical abuse, or discrimination. People of color should not tolerate discrimination or abuse, either. Turning the other cheek works in some cases, but not when a law is being broken. God wants government to be fair to everyone.

What did you think of this newsletter? You can give your honest opinion using our secure contact form.

That's enough for you to think about for this issue. I missed deadline, my brain is tired and a nap is beckoning. Remember the time Jesus took a nap? Read Mark 4:38 then. Thanks for setting an example for me, Jesus!

Jack Zavada

PS: Not a Christian? Find out how to become one!

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