August 23, 2011 Issue #065

Why dumb questions
deserve wise answers

Do you ever feel as if it's open season on singles? From some of the dumb questions people ask us, that's how it seems.

How should we respond? Should we snap back with a prepared, sarcastic reply that puts them in their place? Or should we take a moment, collect ourselves, and do our best to be calm and polite?

Okay, I'll admit there have been times when I've felt like giving a rude person a nonsurgical nose job. But I haven't. So far.

I've gotten a lot of comments from visitors to and readers of Inspire-O-Gram about busybodies who want to run their lives. We singletons don't need that. If we wanted somebody to run our life, we'd get married!

Seriously though, there's a stupid way and a wise way to respond to dumb questions. Check out these thoughts on handling dumb questions

I am not the same

Yes, it's true.
I am not the same as you.

But being different
doesn't make me wrong.

If all the notes
were all the same,
it would make
a monotonous song.

Single woman
or single man,
we all have a part
in God's great plan.

If you don't judge me,
I won't judge you.
Let's leave that up
to God to do.

It's not our decision
who wins and loses.
Heaven is God's party.
He admits whom He chooses.

--Jack Zavada, 2011--

Loneliness is a lifelong battle

I don't believe there is a cure for loneliness. I do, however, think we can learn to manage it.

That's the idea behind Outsmarting Loneliness, my ebook that helps you get the upper hand on this rotten feeling.

You don't need an ebook reader. It's in PDF format, so you can read it right on the computer you're using now, or you can print it out. There's no padding, so it runs 92 pages, and it sells for only $7.97.

This is practical stuff, the method I use when loneliness creeps up on me. I wouldn't be selling it if it didn't work. Here's where you can learn more about Outsmarting Loneliness.

August Quotorooter

August's quotation is from an unknown author:

Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you--not because they are nice, but because you are.
~Author Unknown~

We singles want to be more than nice. We want to be Christlike, that is, if we're Christians. I think you'll agree with me that there's already too much rudeness in the world. We don't need to add to it.

By treating others with kindness and respect, we'll shock them, and maybe make them feel a little better about themselves and the world.

There's an undercurrent of bigotry toward single people that often surfaces. Our first reaction may be to react with venom. But we owe it to God and to ourselves to live out our faith.

Next time you see a cross, what you won't see is a sign on it that says, "For married people only." Jesus loves you just as you are. Always remember that.

Do you worry about what others think?

We singles don't have a spouse to affirm us. Sometimes we look for approval from the wrong sources: other people.

We can let them run us around and give us advice that's good for them, but not us, if we're not careful. I'm not saying we should never take wise advice from friends or relatives. But we should be careful not to become approval addicts.

I used to give other people's opinions of me undue importance. I had low self-esteem. But I learned that if you don't run your own life, somebody else will do it for you.

Be strong. Be your own person. Here are some of the dangers of basing your life on what others think.

For single Christian men…

For those readers who are male, Christian and single, it's a very confusing world, isn't it?

Over the years, I've written several articles for Christian men at You single women may want to give this link to your male friends, brothers, or nephews: Advice for Christian Men.

As always, I welcome your comments on this newsletter,, or the single life in general. Your email will zoom right into my inbox when you use this bedbug-free contact form.

Summer is drawing to a close. I hope yours was enjoyable. And, I hope you enjoyed this newsletter.

We'll see you again in September with more thoughts on the single life!

God's blessings on you,

Jack Zavada
401 Indiana Ave
Streator, IL 61364 USA