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Comparisonitis holds you back"
August 17, 2022

Comparisonitis makes you unhappy

We singles, who are virtuosos at beating ourselves up, do much of that self-torture with comparisonitis.

Comparisonitis is "a condition that exists when you make comparisons that are unreasonable, when you make too many comparisons, or when you make them too often," says the book The 10 Dumbest Mistakes Smart People Make and How to Avoid Them.

I firmly believe readers of Inspire-O-Gram are smart people, and that's how I treat you. But we're all guilty of comparisonitis, including me.

This month's feature article examines that nasty habit, with some practical ways to overcome it. Hey, we have enough things trying to drag us down. We don't need to be our own enemy too.

So take a look at this short study of comparisonitis.

You be you

I could search the world over
but I never would find
anybody like you;
you're one of a kind.

Yes, you are unique,
a fine work of art.
You have no equal,
you're set apart.

You're a gem, a jewel, a pearl of great price,
an original wonder,
a walking paradise.
So don't imitate others
whatever you do.
Love who you are:
You be you.

We don't need more clones
of celebrities.
We have too many now;
no thank you, please.

So treasure the pleasure
of your own point of view.
And don't change a thing!
You be you.

You're a bud, a bloom, a mysterious rose.
Your matchless eyes,
your singular nose!
Embrace this distinction
because it is true.
God made only one:
So you be you!

~ Jack Zavada,, 2022 ~

If you like these newsletters, you'll absolutely LOVE this book!

Common sense. Proven by experience. Always in line with the Bible.

Just like this newsletter, Hope for Hurting Singles provides the kind of guidance about the single life you've come to trust. This paperback book was actually 45 years in the making, because it delivers a lifetime's worth of real-world experience you'll use every day.

No, there's no poetry in Hope for Hurting Singles, but you will find the kind of lessons author Jack Zavada picked up while tackling the emotional roadblocks all singles face.

But this is not an autobiography. Instead, it's a how-to manual you can turn to when you're battling:

  • Loneliness
  • Depression
  • Anger
  • Rejection
  • Discouragement
  • Frustration
  • Fear
  • Shyness

"Don't let the reviews on Amazon fool you," Jack said. "One reader was angry because the book didn't guarantee she would get married. I couldn't make that promise to anyone!"

To read the entire first chapter on loneliness FR'EE, go here.

In spite of inflation, Hope for Hurting Singles is still $10.99 in paperback and $3.99 for the Kindle edition. For the outlay of a mega-burger combo meal, you'll gain years in spiritual maturity without adding an ounce—or a wrinkle!

Get your copy today. There's no other book like Hope for Hurting Singles..

August QOTM: What is it about?

For August's Quote of the Month, we turn to Craig D. Lounsbrough, a Christian counselor and ordained minister serving in Colorado:

It has nothing to do with who I am as compared to everyone else. It has everything to do with who I am in companionship with God.

~ Craig D. Lounsbrough ~

The world wants us to compare ourselves to others, and when we feel we're lacking, it's quick to try to sell us something to make up the difference. But God didn't create us to be knock-offs, like a counterfeit pretending to be the real thing.

You are the real thing—the real you! God wants you to measure your worth not by your looks, accomplishments, or paycheck, but by the massive love he has for you. God thinks you're groovy!

Doesn't it stand to reason that the Supreme Being of the universe would also have the best taste? Sure it does. He knows something special when he sees it, and that's how he feels about you. Next time you look in the mirror, remind yourself of that.

Another of my blockhead mistakes for you to avoid!

This newsletter is worth its weight in pixels just for the mistakes I warn you about so you can dodge them in your own life!

This one is a doozy, but I wasn't alone then, and millions of singles are still guilty of this stupidity today.

While it's not a complicated action to take, the remedy to this problem will make such a difference in your life that you'll give yourself virtual kicks in the keister (or real ones) for not doing it sooner.

Make sure you read the entire article on how to avoid Jack's blockhead mistake.

Closing thoughts on shills and thrills

I was excited. My uncle and aunt had stopped by to take my brother and me to the circus with their children. It was the late 1950s, I was about seven years old, and I had never been to a live circus before.

Looking back, it was kind of a small, sad circus. The woman who sold us tickets later showed up as one of the acrobats. But in the days of black and white TV, it was a big deal. As we sat in the bleachers waiting for the show to start, a man came along selling paper boxes of popcorn. "There's a prize in every box!" He shouted.

Within a minute or two, a man in the bleachers held up his box of popcorn and yelled, "Hey, I won a transistor radio!" He held up the tiny radio for all to see. Shortly after that, a woman dug into her box and said, "I won a wristwatch! A wristwatch!" She waved it around.

My little cousins and I sat with our mouths open, awestruck. My uncle Bud, who had served in the U.S. Navy during WW II, was wise to the ways of the world. "Those people with the radio and watch are shills," he told us. "They work for the circus. They're in cahoots with the guy selling the popcorn. The prizes in the other boxes are worthless trinkets."

Enlightenment descended on us kids like dew on the lotus. My aunt Helen passed me a big, brown paper grocery bag full of popcorn she had popped at home. "Here, have some popcorn," she said with a laugh.

No prize, but plenty of love.

The moral of this story is that shills are still around today, from celebrity spokesmodels to political pundits. Learn to spot the shills. I've found it helps to ask yourself, "What's in it for them?"

Just how thrilling is Christianity, Jack?

Now we go from shills to thrills— the unexpected thrills of living the Christian life.

If you don't think Christianity's exciting, you're not doing it right. First, think about what Jesus did for you. You don't have to work your way into heaven, like people in other faiths think they do. Jesus did everything you need on the cross to earn you eternal life with him. He paid your sin-de'bt in full.

Second, any time you want, you can talk directly to the Creator of the entire universe! You think that's not a thrill? What's more, he cares and he listens. No voicemail, no form letters, no replies from surrogates. You, single friend, are an adopted child of the Living God.

Third, what awaits you is so colossal, even the Bible couldn't find words to describe it. Our teensy brains would explode if we knew how wonderful heaven and the New Earth will be. That thrills me.

Fourth, you want a makes-your-hair-stand-on-end thrill? Try witnessing to somebody about why they should accept Jesus as their Savior. That makes zip lining look like an old ladies' tea party.

Fifth, the greatest book ever written, the Bible, can give you Rock-solid advice on any problem you have. Its principles are wise and timeless. That should thrill your socks off.

Finally (for now), you have a family of millions of fellow believers, The Church, all over the world. Jesus is coming back for us, and every day it gets closer. How's that for thrilling?

Whew! I love being an enthusiastic Christian.

Say, did you receive the July issue of Inspire-O-Gram? I always run each new issue through spam check software, then email a test issue to myself. The July issue passed both tests, but when I emailed the actual newsletters July 13, my copy went into my spam folder.

If you would like me to resend the July Inspire-O-Gram to you, send me a request using our contact form, and be sure to include your email address!

That's it for our whopper August issue. Remember, God wants to hear from you, your hurts, your victories, your thanks. He has a special, custom-tailored love just for you!

Jack Zavada

PS: Not a Christian? Find out how to become one!

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