Help yourself by taking an
active approach to your life

Do you help yourself or hinder yourself when it comes to going after the things you want in life?

Far too many singles are so laid back that they expect life to come to them. If you've been trying that approach, odds are the things that have been coming to you aren't the ones you especially want.


On this site, I like to point out the mistakes I've made in life so you don't have to repeat them. Why go through the same painful, time-wasting experiences I did when you can read about them and avoid them in your own life?

Keep reading and save yourself a ton of grief.

Help yourself: A good motto for the single

Help yourself by being assertive

One of the regrets I have in life is that I didn't go after the things I wanted as vigorously as I should have. Except for my writing, I did not apply the energy and drive I should have.

I'm not blaming God, but I think many of us Christians expect him to do more than his part. We need to step out in faith first sometimes. I recently read a biography of Joan of Arc, a remarkable single woman, and was struck by her personal motto:

"Help yourself, and God
will help you."


We singles can't afford to be passive. Time keeps going by! We need to reach out for the things we want in life.

Help yourself to a better job

Most of us singles are assertive in our careers. We actively seek promotions and better wages. We do have to be careful not to turn our career into our god, however.

Being single poses a real danger of pouring your life into a job that can turn around and bite you in the...well, maybe you've already gone through that.

The opposite can be true, too. Because we don't have a spouse to encourage us, we might stay in a dead-end job, simply because it's...comfortable. Ruts can be hard to climb out of. Now I always advocate having another job waiting before quitting where you are now. It's foolish to leave without a steady source of income available.

But if you live in a state of job dissatisfaction, it's time to make a decision. Don't expect anyone else to do it for you. Don't expect a great job offer to drop down out of the blue. Real life doesn't work that way.

Change is hard. Starting a new job is intimidating. If we look only at the problems, we'll never step out and do anything new in life.

Be aggressive. Read and study on how to get a job. You'll find plenty of free material at your public library. Be your own cheerleader when you get rejected. Develop a thick skin and realize that's all part of the process.

Stop making excuses and blaming other factors. You can get a better job if you really want to.

Help yourself to happiness

When it comes to being happy and finding a spouse, single women cannot expect a visit from Prince Charming, and single men cannot expect the girl of their dreams to come knocking on their door. That's fairy tale stuff, folks!

Here's something from the real world to etch in your memory:

What's this?

Nobody is coming to rescue me. I need to help myself.


Whether it's online dating, having friends and relatives fix you up on blind dates, or asking someone to lunch (this means you, ladies), if things aren't working, help yourself.

Once we get it through our heads (and it took me a long time to learn this) that we are responsible for our own happiness, we've taken a major step toward that goal. Millions of sad people go through their entire life and never understand that. You're getting that truth right here, right now.

Sorry if I sound preachy, but this is so important I want you to think about it all week until it becomes part of you.

Happiness is out there. You can get more than your share, but you simply must help yourself.




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