Is shyness a problem singles can overcome?

Shyness is one of the reasons many singles give for not going out, for not aggressively pursuing what they want in life.

But is it a reason--or an excuse? Is this type of meekness a valid psychological handicap--or a way to avoid fear, anxiety, and disappointment?

While it's true that some people are introverts and some are extroverts, this kind of withdrawl can be a problem shared by both. His friends often said that the late Johnny Carson was a truly withdrawn, introverted man, yet the side that he showed on The Tonight Show was that of a jolly, wisecracking extrovert. People saw Carson so often on TV that he insisted on keeping some aspects of his life to himself. Maybe it was more a need for privacy rather than true shyness.

Shyness = lack of self-confidence

My own shyness came from a lack of self-confidence. When I was in high school and even college, I constantly compared myself to smarter, more popular kids and felt that I came up short. So it was much easier for me to stay home and read, write, or watch TV.

But when I graduated from college, my first job was as a reporter on my hometown newspaper. My shyness days were over! It was the equivalent of being tossed off a dock and learning to swim in a big hurry.

Early in my years as a reporter, I learned one of life's most important secrets. Gradually I realized that other people were uncertain too, groping and struggling to figure out their own lives. I was forced to assert myself to get the story, and I often had to be aggressive to the point of being rude to cut through red tape and stonewalling.

Article continues below >

Beating shyness is just one of the many topics we cover in our FREE monthly ezine, Inspire-O-Gram. You'll find useful articles, fun poems, quotations, and The Rut Disruptor, our exclusive tool for change. Just fill out the easy form below to subscribe...

Is life passing you by?

That's a danger we all face as singles. We look at a situation and think, "I'll be too nervous if I do that," or "I'll look stupid if I fail," or "It would just be too painful to even attempt that." Maybe you don't put it into words, but you lull yourself into believing that anything that's difficult or makes you feel uneasy wouldn't be worth the effort.

Let me tell you that those kinds of fears are not new. They're not limited to you or even the 21st century.

We see a perfect example of this excuse in the Old Testament, when Moses starts giving God reasons why he wouldn't be worthy to lead the Israelites out of Egypt to their promised land.

Moses tries to weasel out of God's destiny for him, asking "Who am I, that I should go to Pharoah and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?" (Ex. 3:11)

Like Moses, like you

Isn't that the ultimate antidote to shyness? Isn't that what sticks a pin in the shyness balloon and makes it pop? But Moses was a shyness fanatic and even after God explained how he would work miracles through him, Moses still had the nerve to say, "O Lord, please send someone else to do it." (Ex. 4:13)

But God had made his choice. Moses was his man, because he knew Moses better than Moses knew himself.

And so it is with you. You may believe that you're hopelessly shy. You may have convinced yourself there are some things you simply cannot do.

But consider this: Are you willing to risk missing out on the astounding things God will do through you and for you, if you step out in faith? The pattern in the Bible is unmistakably clear, from Joseph and Moses all the way to Paul. When God calls someone to do something, he equips that person with whatever they need to do it.

God will help you change

It won't be easy at first. You'll probably be afraid. You may have some failures and disappointments. Every small victory will be a stepping stone to the next and then the next. Every time you do something you thought you couldn't, you'll feel like dancing on clouds.

God doesn't want you to live the shrunken life of shyness. God wants you to live big, by believing and trusting in him. Resolve today,with God's help, to overcome your problem. If you're honest and you persevere, God will be with you every step of the way.

Conquer your shyness--forever!

Single & Sure, my new ebook, shows you how to be sure of yourself, sure of your future, and sure of God's love for you. It's like a how-to manual for shy people who finally want to take control of their life and gain rock-solid self confidence.

There's never been a guidebook for single people like Single & Sure. That's because I tap my 40 years' experience to show you proven principles for living a happy, contented life.

Are you fed up with living beneath your potential? This ebook will help you become the person God wants you to be!

Get complete details on Single & Sure...

"Hey you, sitting at the computer!"