Do you like to complain but don't do anything about it?

Many singles like to complain, yet they never take action on their problems.

If that sounds like you, what's holding you back? World-class complainers need to ask what they're getting out of it.

At work, complaining can lead to affirmation. Employees gather on break time and gripe about the boss, the pay, the benefits, or coworkers. It causes a weird kind of camaraderie when people can relate to each other because they have the same complaints. The problem is that something constructive rarely comes from it.

Agreeing on the disagreeable

Whether it's in the workplace or with a group of friends, we like the attention we get when we complain. It makes us feel like a crusader, somebody who recognizes what's wrong with the world.

When we can get other people to agree with us, we bond into a little group that holds itself above others. Unconsciously we're saying, "We're better than them because they don't 'get' it."

If you like to complain anyway, this little ego boost makes you feel important. In a group of complainers, the person with the most or loudest complaints becomes the de facto leader.

The bad side of complaining

For singles, complaining can become a way of life. This "me against the world" attitude can easily slip into cynicism, an outlook that chases people away in droves. If you like to complain incessantly, you may also suffer from depression or anger.

You have trouble seeing anything good about life. You look for the bad and ignore the good. Before you know it, you're a professional pessimist, a real downer of a person who thinks the odds are stacked against you.

You think the world is lousy and your excuse for not trying is, "What's the use?"

Surprise! The good side of complaining

Believe it or not, complaining can also be a good thing, if used carefully.

All of the great inventions of the world, from the wheel to the iPod, came about because somebody complained about the current situation and did something to improve it.

If you like to complain--and then take constructive action--you can make great strides, especially in your own life. Hey, you might even find a spouse, if that's your goal.

Instead of just nonstop whining, think about your gripes and see what can be fixed. Don't just stop at the talking stage. In his book The Motivated Mind, (a book that had a tremendous impact on me), J.M. Gracia says:

"The one thing that separates you from what you want is action. It is the link that connects you with all of the things you desire...If you want anything to change in your life, you must be the one to change it. Action is an absolute necessity for success."

Be a complainer and a doer

That's the key. Don't be all talk. Become a person of action. Analyze what needs to be changed and start to change it.

Complaining is just so much gum-flapping unless it's paired with doing. Try a new way. Suggest improvements to the boss. Come up with an action plan for moving from dissatisfaction to success, then put it into play.

Instead of sitting around with your friends dissing something, use that time to fix it.

Complaining alone never solved anything.
You have to couple it with action

Overcome your natural tendency to talk something to death. Get a pad of paper and write down possible solutions, then pick out the most focused one and get going on it.

If you make this change in your life, a year from now your only complaint will be, "I wish I'd done this sooner."

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