Looking for something better, many singles overlook what they have

Looking for something better seems to be the theme of many people's lives.  Single people, especially, can get caught on this treadmill, sometimes with disastrous results.

We all want to improve our circumstances.  That's natural and wise.  But we need to be cautious in what we try to improve and how we do it.  Wrong influences can put us on the path of constant dissatisfaction.

With many singles, the problem is inertia.  We get stuck in our comfortable rut and don't want anything to change.  In fact, some of us are terrified of change.  "I like things just the way they are," is our motto.

As you're old enough to know, we can't escape change.  It happens on the job, it happens in our personal life, and it always takes adjustment before we feel halfway comfortable again.

Let's examine the pros and cons of looking for something better.

Why the latest 'must-have' just isn't

Whenever I see a news article about the latest "must-have" electronics, it irritates me.  Must-have?  Says who?  Usually the people selling them.

What's even sadder is that millions of people fall for that, whether it's gadgets, clothes, shoes, or even cars.  Don't get me wrong.  There's nothing wrong with dressing nice or upgrading when you need to.  Just make sure it's for the right reason.

Life is not a race to see who can be the coolest or trendiest.  That's a game for shallow people.  You're not a shallow person.  If you were, you'd be on a celebrities web site, not here.

When we're looking for something better, it's important to ask "Why?"  If it's an ego-driven reason, we're involved in a quest in which we'll never be satisfied.  After all,  manufacturers don't really want you to be satisfied.  They want you to buy their newest, latest model, and their advertising agency's job is to convince you it's smart to.

Tragically, millions of people dump a perfectly good boyfriend or girlfriend or even spouse because they're looking for something better.  People are not things.  God says we're not to use people as if they are.

Looking for some better way to grow

One of my goals for you on this web site is to encourage you to grow in your Christian maturity.  That's also a lifelong goal I have for myself.  I'm constantly trying to know God better and serve him and others in a genuine way.

Sometimes we have to make hard changes to do that.  A few years ago, I changed churches.  I sincerely believed I was not being taught authentic biblical doctrine.  I wanted more of Jesus, and I wasn't getting that at the church where I was.

We have to question our own motives when we do something that important.  I had to make sure I was moving for the right reasons.  I didn't want to rationalize.  In the end, I honestly believed changing would help me draw closer to God.  It was a tough decision but proved to be right.

I haven't always been honest with myself.  A lot of times I have done things for the wrong reason, for selfish reasons.  Don't do that.  Don't be like I was.  Work to be a truthful person, especially to yourself.  Try to see life clearly, and when you try to improve your situation, do it for the right reasons.

Looking for something better than a rut

We singles like our comfortable routines.  The older I get, the more aggravated I become when something disrupts my daily routine. 

Sadly, a routine can turn into a rut.  It takes courage to step out of your comfort zone, but when you're looking for something better, sometimes that's the only way to get it.

If you're looking for a spouse, you may have to be more assertive and do some things that make you scared (always protecting your safety, of course).  You may have to make the first move and ask a person out to coffee.  You may have to get out a little more so you can be seen by a potential spouse.

God will help you do the tough things in life, as long as they're within his boundaries.  He never helps us sin, but he does help us stretch and gives us courage to step out.  When you're looking for something better, stepping out in faith may be the only way to find it.

God wants you to develop Christlike character.  He wants you to love others.  He wants you to live up to the great potential he gave you.  If you'll accept his help, he'll be your strength when you look for something better.

Return to top of looking for something better