We singles can have more good days than bad days by doing one simple thing: recognizing who we really are.
Too often we let the outside world control our inside world, and the result is a miserable day simply because we let something get to us. I've done this so many times I'm ashamed to admit it. I wish I had realized earlier in life that I don't have to be a victim of my circumstances.
You don't either.
That's so important I want to repeat it. You don't have to be a victim of your circumstances.
Of course. But how? How do we get through life without being kicked around like a soccer ball?
Some days, the slightest remark or offhand criticism can send us into the pit of self-doubt. Our confidence vanishes like a mist, and we feel lousy the entire day. What's worse, we singles tend to replay the hurtful episode all night when we get home.
What happened? Why do we do that?
The time to ask that is as soon as you have that knee-jerk response. It's very hard to be objective about yourself, but to change things, you have to understand why you react the way you do.
Usually there's a hurt from the past that was never healed, an unseen scar that easily opens when someone "hits" you there. These things are painful. Sometimes you can deal with them yourself, sometimes you need professional help, like a pastor or therapist.
The important thing is, when you're going off track and keep going and going, to stop and say, "Whoa! What's going on here and why am I doing this?" That's hard to do because you're operating on emotion instead of logic. It's difficult to put the brakes on your emotions.
None of us likes to admit we have a "trigger" or "buttons" that other people can trip to set us off, but we do. Certain things get to us, and when we understand why, we're on the path to eliminating that thing's power.
De-activate these triggers and you'll experience less aggravation. They'll no longer have the ability to hurt you. They'll bounce off you as harmlessly as a raindrop. When that happens, you'll have fewer bad days and more good days.
The Holy Spirit can help in this inner detective work. He knows you better than you know yourself. What's more, he's always eager to transform you into more Christlike character. And if there was one thing remarkable about Jesus, it was that he was calm and steady all the time.
Jesus knew who he was. Most of the time, we believers forget who we are. We forget we're daughters and sons of the Living God. We're members of God's family, adopted children with the full rights and privileges of our brother, Jesus.
You don't get that if you're not a Christian. First, you don't have those rights, and second, you don't understand.
We believers need to claim our rights when we're feeling stressed. We need to remember that we're citizens of the kingdom of God, and that kingdom starts now, not in the hereafter. There's peace and serenity in that kingdom, that inner kingdom, if you trust God and accept it. You can have more good days, starting now.
You can act like a beaten down peasant or you can act like the prince or princess that you are, but it takes knowing the truth and applying it in your life. This isn't fairy tale stuff. It's real. It's the way to have more good days by living out your inheritance.
The apostles did it. Paul suffered all kinds of troubles, from insults to starvation to beatings. He endured because the God inside him ran his life, not his emotions or reactions.
I don't want to minimize how hard this is to do. Some of us singles are so stuck in a spiritual and emotional rut that we refuse to take hold of who we really are. Many of us have the sad belief that because we haven't been blessed with a spouse that God has forgotten us or is even angry at us.
No, you are God's child. You are loved and precious to him. No matter how people have treated you in the past, you can reach out and accept the good things God has for you:
Paul tells us in Galatians chapter 5 that these attitudes and traits are ours through the indwelling Spirit. He guides us, strengthens us, and equips us.
Our first task is to believe that
through the Spirit we can produce this fruit, then our second task is to
express these qualities. This is not a matter of willpower. It's a
matter of surrender. You can't force it. You can only open your heart
Accepting this truth can change your life. No matter what's going on on the outside of you, knowing who you really are in Christ is the secret to having more good days.