Reclaiming your dignity:
How God does it all
After you have experienced great trauma, reclaiming your dignity feels impossible.
Regardless of what happened, you are not the person you once were; you can never be the same.
Even so, healing is possible. Reclaiming your dignity takes courage, but knowing the truth about this vital asset can lead to hope and a desire to go on with life. Your broken heart can be mended. Your fractured soul can be made right.
How dignity is damaged
Every human being has an inborn sense of value, a personal self-worth we call dignity. However, changes in society have brought about new assaults on this attribute. Cruelty and bullying go unchecked today.
From personal relationships to social media, attacks have become more hurtful. Suddenly it has become commonplace to disrespect the feelings of others.
So many things can cause trauma. It can be as simple as an offhand remark to physical violence. Our self-esteem can be scarred by a job layoff, missed promotion, or sexism. We can be rejected as a marriage candidate. It may be a rape or mugging.
Disability or serious illness can make a person feel like an outcast. That happened to me in 1976 when I had cancer surgery followed by a series of debilitating radiation treatments. By the time I was able to return to work, I had dropped to 112 pounds. I noticed people didn't want to stand too close to me—as if cancer were contagious! (It's not.) My dignity took a hit and it took a long time before it came back.
For millions, just being single can be a source of shame.
In a culture obsessed with being beautiful and "together," these humiliations are typically tamped down. We're expected to toughen up, to just grin and bear it.
But the pain is still there. The walking wounded do not have a sign on them that says, "My dignity has been damaged."
How can we return to the confident life we once enjoyed?
Where dignity really comes from
The key to reclaiming your dignity lies in knowing where it comes from in the first place:
Dignity is a gift from God, given to every human being.
Black singer and actress Ethel Waters (1896-1977) summed it up when she said, "I am somebody because God don't make no junk."
Racism has always tried to destroy the dignity of people of color. Today white supremacy is showing a resurgence in the United States. Civil rights leaders in the 1960s, many of them Christian ministers, understood that human dignity comes from God, and while it may be attacked, it can never be destroyed.
What God created, he will help you reclaim. Your dignity is still there; it has always been there. The trauma has knocked it down, but God can lift it up again.
Dignity is rooted in the unconditional, supportive love God has for you. That love never fades, but your perception of your dignity can. Trauma victims often want to blame themselves. In rare cases some people do take steps that lead them down the path of despair, but even so, they can get off that path. Sometimes we ask, "Why did God allow this?"
When Jesus Christ worked miracles, the healed person often saw himself or herself in a new light. Those who had been weighed down by sin felt free. Those who had been self-destructive felt forgiven. And those who had been demon-possessed reclaimed their dignity.
That's the thing: Your dignity is not lost. It's unwell, and God aims to heal it. Christ was called the Great Physician because he has the power to mend souls as well as bodies. We often saw Jesus in the gospels take someone by the hand and "lift them up."
He wants to lift your dignity up and restore it to what it should be. Your worth, your dignity, has always come from God's love for you, not from outside sources. When it comes to reclaiming your dignity—which is what God wants for you—you must act out the words of the apostle Peter: “We must obey (listen to) God rather than men." (Acts 5:29, ESV)
Reclaiming your dignity: The Holy Spirit
The great Restorer of dignity is the Holy Spirit, Christ's presence within every believer. He does things you can never do on your own. Living the Christian life is not a matter of trying harder; it's a matter of surrendering to the Holy Spirit to let him live Christ's life through you.
The same is true with reclaiming your dignity. The Holy Spirit will make you understand that your dignity is intact. He will also teach you the condition of your dignity depends not on your own effort to fix it but on God's unwavering love.
God makes your dignity right. God makes it good. God makes it strong again. It's all on God and not on you, and God never fails in what he sets out to do. Receive this healing and it's yours.
You may not feel it at first, but this is a matter of facts, not feelings. God is reliable and he is able. Those are the facts.
Acknowledge that your dignity has returned in full strength—not your strength but God's. He's the provider here, not you. You need to keep reminding yourself of two simple truths:
- My dignity was never lost.
- God alone can and will rebuild it
Be who God wants you to be. Reclaim what was always yours. God has restored your dignity to you, so grab on tightly to it and move ahead in God's mighty power.
Note: Sometimes this can be a difficult, painful process, requiring the advice of a clergy member or licensed therapist. Use their services when needed.
Finding hope where it can really be found
When we're in trouble, our first instinct is to go to family, friends, social media--anybody but God. And yet, why avoid the One who has already proven his love for you on the cross?
Hope for Hurting Singles will show you how to receive God's help in your most frustrating problems. Author Jack Zavada tried all sorts of solutions but learned that in the long run, the Creator of the Universe has both the power and compassion to be your go-to Source.
This is an eye-opening book. God knows your name and wants to help!
Hope for Hurting Singles is $10.99 in paperback and $3.99 for. the Kindle edition.
