Getting angry over nothing sabotages your peace
What is worth getting angry over?
When you give that question serious thought, you'll go a long way toward reducing your personal stress level.
You are stressed, right? Anger makes up a large part of that, whether it's mild irritation or blood-pressure-rocketing rage. Certainly there's no shortage of things to get angry over today, but have you ever analyzed what sets you off? All of us are getting mad at things we could learn to ignore.
That's what this article is about. You and I don't have to get in a snit over every aggravation that comes along, and I believe over time, we can even grow calmer by moderating our response to things that used to drive us wild.
Here's an important truth to remember. We get angry for two reasons:
- Something offends us, or
- We can't get what we want.
Getting angry over others
People can be aggravating, but only if we let them. Whether you believe it or not, you do have a choice in what you let bother you. I had a relative who had a short fuse. He let people offend him all the time.
Tom couldn't understand that each of us has a right to act the way we want. That's what makes us unique. And while the world draws the line at criminal behavior, we can't do much about everything short of that.
Yes, I wish people were not rude or cruel or stupid, but I'm not the manners police. In our society, people are usually allowed to act out until they do break the law.
Most of the traits that irritate us are not worth wasting our energy over: their hairdo or tattoos, shouting or talking too loud, bizarre clothes, their lack of respect or consideration. Someone butts ahead of us in line and it sends us away steaming for the rest of the evening. A politician makes their daily stupid statement and our blood pressure shoots up 30 points.
Our happiness--our spiritual equilibrium--is too precious to let these devilish termites gnaw away at it. Those of us who are Christians and find our identity in Jesus would be wise to leave others to their ways while we clean up our own act first.
Jesus Christ addressed this topic when he said:
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." (Luke 6:41-42, NIV)
Getting angry over the right things
On the other hand, some anger is legitimate, but we only if we use it wisely. If we let it percolate without purpose, we waste it.
One incident in the Bible of legitimate anger tells of Jesus cleansing the Jerusalem temple of men selling sacrificial animals at a profit. This practice started as a convenience to pilgrims traveling from a long distance, who would have been slowed down by bringing their own animal with them.
But over the years this service became a racket. Sellers jacked up their prices, and moneychangers who traded acceptable Hebrew coins for foreign money also gouged their customers. Add to that the percentage the chief priests got for renting space to these merchants and it became all about money.
Jesus got so angry he made a whip out of cords and chased all those vultures out. It was righteous, legitimate anger on his part.
Today, injustice also demands action of some sort. About 30 years ago, I became aware of the work of the Innocence Project. This nonprofit organization fights to free wrongly convicted men and women from prison. To date its work has gained freedom and exoneration for more than 255 people. And that's just the tip of the iceberg of incarcerated people. Every month I donate to this cause.
I know you support worthwhile charities too. We need to use our anger constructively to try to bring about change. There are many ways to do that, from donating to peacefully demonstrating to circulating petitions to writing elected officials.
Getting angry over the right things and doing something about it grows you spiritually. Jesus didn't get angry over whether the people he ate with belched or wiped their mouth with their sleeve. He was concerned about their souls.
Do things that relax you
To reduce the number of things we get angry over, we singles have to be discerning. We need to get a thicker skin. We need to tune out the static—and most of it is static—and ration our anger very carefully.
Don't subject yourself to TV or social media that triggers hateful emotions. Nobody forces us to watch political podcasts or argue online with people we don't even know. Remember that most programs are intentionally designed to make you mad. An enraged audience is a loyal audience.
Instead, spend your time doing things that relax you instead of those that wind you up. Exercise helps work off tension, and a hobby also can be an effective way to calm down after a bad day. One of the keys to a happy life is having something exciting to look forward to.
We can't control a lot of things, but we can control our attitude. Learn how to overlook the unimportant. Choose what you get angry over, and when you choose anger less often, you'll have more happiness to enjoy.
Ask God to make you less irritable, more forgiving of others, more at ease. Learn to laugh at yourself. Changing yourself is a tall order, but when you ask the Holy Spirit to help you, you're halfway home. His desire is to build Christlike character in you.
Here's something to think about: Every time you indulge yourself in anger, you trade it for happiness. More anger = an angry person. More happiness = a happy person.
This single life is a matter of making wise choices. Choosing patience over anger is one of them.
Hope helps you chill out!
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