A sad face won't serve you well

A sad face can have just the opposite effect of what you might expect.

Instead of drawing people to you out of sympathy, it can drive them away. Oh, you may get the occasional person who wants to hear why you're so down in the dumps, but most people are wrapped up in troubles of their own. They're not eager to listen to someone else's.

We singles can be depressed or discouraged. That doesn't mean it's wise to let it show.

How much honesty is enough?

Throughout this site, I argue for an authentic life. I believe it's in our best interest to be truthful, honest people. That's a challenge in today's world. But sometimes we can actually overdo it.

Nobody likes a downer. Except maybe other downers, when they get together to cry on each other's shoulders. For the most part, people avoid folks who like to complain. If you're looking for a spouse, being a whiner is a real turn-off.

We singles have a choice. We can, for the most part, keep our troubles to ourselves, or we can mope around with a pitiful expression, inviting everybody to feel sorry for us because we're so unhappy. The choice sounds pretty obvious when you put it that way, doesn't it?

How to keep an even keel

I'm not advocating you act like a silly fool all the time. Or even some of the time. It can be in your best interest to do a bit of acting, though. We're all fighting to keep a balanced life. Happiness is better than sadness. Contentment is better than misery.

So much is determined by our attitude. Go about looking gloomy and you add to your frustration. Try smiling and people will be attracted to you. They'll treat you better. They'll actually look forward to being around you.

Okay, sometimes you just have to unload. But make sure you do it to someone you can trust. And don't do it to everyone. If you get the reputation as a griper, people will see you coming and think, "Oh, no. Here comes another pity-party." Then they race for the nearest hiding place.

Sad face: More downside than upside

When you put on a sad face, what are you trying to accomplish? Usually you want some sympathy. "My life is so miserable. I'll tell you about it and I'm sure you'll agree."


Take your troubles to one trusted friend, relative, or pastor. Don't let your sad face be a walking billboard looking for approval.

And take your pain to Jesus. He is always willing to listen, and what's more, he can point you to the root of your trouble. Once in a while, it might be yourself. Ouch! That's tough to hear when you feel picked on.

I know it's hard to look at your own situation objectively, but remember the goal: Do I want to be happy or sad?

You know the answer. Maybe having people pity you makes you happy. You'll have to admit that desire is kind of, well...sad.

You're a grown-up now. A mature adult. A grumpy look is for a pouty two year-old, right? Stop punishing yourself.

First put a smile on your face, then start working on putting a smile in your soul to go with it.

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