Christian singles: Truly strangers in a strange land


Are Christian singles the most gullible people on the planet, or is something much deeper going on with us?

I don't have to tell you we take a lot of abuse from the world. You already know that. Most of it is subtle, disguised as condescending treatment, as if we're to be pitied. The caricature of us claims we're naive. Maybe we're even dim bulbs because we're so out of step with what's going on around us.

After all, those old rules and the Bible don't apply in the modern world, do they? They're so unrealistic. Everybody should be able to do whatever they want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, right?

But we have chosen a different way. Or rather, God has chosen us for it.

Increasingly, the world is becoming more hostile to Christians. Along with pastor Rick Warren, we can say, "I serve a higher power, Jesus Christ. I make no apologies in saying that."

Let's compare the costs of fitting in versus the benefits of standing out.

Who is your God, really?

We can start by comparing gods. For the most part, the world—our society or culture—worships self. Most actions and desires are self-centered. Everybody looks out for Number 1, namely him or herself.


They pursue their own goals, driven by the need for power, recognition, or wealth. They measure success by dollars and fame.

We Christian singles worship God. We can't prove God exists with numbers and scientific data, but we believe it based on the Bible and creation.

By definition, our God is the most intelligent being in the universe. That means his will is the wisest path to follow. It may not seem that way based on the world's standards, but reality is often very different from appearances.

When we are saved, we realize following Jesus Christ is the right thing to do. Such obedience is impossible without the constant support of the Holy Spirit, who lives within every believer.

Even so, there's a better reason to obey God, and that has to do with his character. He is a God of love. He loves us individually, and because he loves us, he wants the best for each of us. Based on the troubles we have, that's not always obvious either.

Christian singles go through a lot of pain because the world rejects us. We can endure that, though, because deep down we know we're right. This should lead us not to personal arrogance but to confidence in God.

Christian singles: Rejection is unavoidable

It's logical. If people rejected Jesus Christ, the sinless Son of God, they are going to reject his followers too.

It hurts to be rejected. Many Christian singles stumble in their walk because they want to be popular. Approval and acceptance feel good.

The approval of friends and relatives is tangible in the here and now, while the approval of God can feel vague.


Some of our toughest temptations come because we want to be accepted. God calls us to sexual purity. Our society laughs at such a thing. For Christian singles, the old excuse, "Everybody's doing it," does not make sin right. The same holds true with getting drunk, high on drugs, cheating or stealing.

Wrong is always wrong, no matter how many people are doing it.

Rejection is a powerful force because of our inborn need to be accepted, but the courage we need to do what's right doesn't come from us but is given to us by God through his grace. Again, we cannot follow God on our own strength.

It's been suggested that one reason the world rejects Christian singles is because we make them feel guilty. I question that. People who don't know God will not feel shame about offending him. While it's true that everyone has a conscience (perhaps with the exception of psychopaths), most people tend to rationalize their behavior until they convince themselves it doesn't matter.

Lumped in with misbehavers

Sadly, some of the most visible Christians have brought scorn upon the faith. We've seen a string of TV evangelists engaged in sexual affairs or financial misconduct. Prosperity Gospel teachers are shameless phonies, twisting the Bible to enrich themselves so they can live in mansions and fly on private jets.

It's easy for unbelievers to lump us in with these wolves in sheep's clothing. Even in Paul the apostle's day, magicians and con men tried to profit from preaching.


Every field, from politics to medicine, has its scam artists. Religion, which should be above such exploitation, is a prime target because of an audience's vulnerability. You and I can't do much about these con men and women. When unbelievers lump us in with them, it's just another form of stereotyping.

Sadly, many Christian singles have abandoned the faith, preyed upon by clerical vultures or disillusioned because their prayers have not been answered. I hope you are not among them. Remember, though, we must place our faith in Jesus, not human beings.

Organized religion has its pitfalls to be sure, but Christ wanted his followers to gather as a church. A Bible-believing church can be the greatest haven for a lone believer.

Doing good for God

In a world that has lost its moral compass, the Christian church remains a refuge for people seeking the true meaning of life. No church is perfect. We should not seek perfection there, but adherence to the Bible. Solid doctrine is vital.

The church shows us what to do in this confusing time: Live for God. Focus on Jesus instead of what goes on around us.


Opportunities abound for the Christian. Every church needs volunteers, but let's not try to rack up points in misguided payment for our salvation. We can do nothing toward that. Instead, we can serve God by serving others. We express our love to him by obeying his commands.

Heaven awaits us, but it is already paid for. The attraction of heaven lies not in its joy and peace—although they will certainly dominate life there. Heaven will bring us face to face with our beloved Redeemer.

In the meantime, we can take heart in Jesus' sustaining love, confident that no matter what happens around us, we are on the difficult but right path to our true home in him.


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