Finding a smarter response to failure
We singles need a smarter response to failure. The attitude people have taken for thousands of years isn't working.
Because humans prize winning so highly, failure is seen as losing. What's more, it's viewed as something to be ashamed of. We feel elated when we succeed, miserable when we lose.
But that's a shallow interpretation of the role failure plays in our lives—not only shallow but wrong. If we're going to make any constructive use of failure at all, we need to move from a Winning-based mindset to a Growth-based mindset.
Every segment of society, from business to relationships, is so entrenched in the Sports Model of win/lose that they will never change. Let me be clear: You and I can only make this change in our own lives.
I think there are strong benefits to a smarter response to failure. Let's explore some of them.
Wait. What?
Here's a shocking truth: If you study the Bible carefully, you will find that Christianity is not a competition. It's not.
The central teaching of the gospel is that only the death of Jesus Christ on the cross can save us. We can't save ourselves and we can't even stop ourselves from sinning.
When it comes to our own personal righteousness, we are all failures. ("Indeed, there is no one on earth who is righteous, no one who does what is right and never sins." [Ecclesiastes 7:20, NIV])
So who are we supposed to believe, society or the Word of God?
Knowing that everybody, even the most "successful" person on earth, is already an inescapable failure evens us up. When it comes to righteousness, their money, fame, power, performance and appearance can't help them.
And here's the final kicker. A hundred years from now, the only thing that will matter will be your righteousness. Not how much you "won" at anything or how much you lost. All the beautiful people will be eternal losers without Christ.
If you're a Christian, say a special thank you to Jesus tonight when you go to bed.
Failure in the here and now
In our current life, failure visits each of us on a fairly regular basis. We all look back at past failures and wish they had not happened.
Many of our past mistakes came from bad decisions. Here's what's important to remember:
We can only operate on the knowledge and maturity we have at the time.
It's easy to look back, after the bad consequences happened, and kick ourselves over what we should have done. That's why people say hindsight is 20/20. The bottom line, however, is that we learn as we go.
The only way to learn before you go is to learn from the experience of people who have gone before you. And that's why you're here learning from my mistakes (and occasional successes), so you know what to do before certain situations come up.
Sometimes we don't always have all the knowledge we need to make a wise decision. Sometimes we're not mature enough to foresee the painful consequences. Ask anybody serving time in prison about that.
We can beat ourselves up over past failures, but at some point we need to learn the lesson and move on. That's a smarter response to failure than to turn ourselves into a guilt-ridden punching bag.
What about unforeseen circumstances?
A few years ago, as an elder at my church, I sat in as the pastor questioned an aspiring confirmation student. The boy's mother had taught him this little adage:
"Proper preparation prevents poor performance."
Most of the time that's true, but who of us hasn't been ill on the day of a test or late to work because of a dead car battery or so nervous on a date we just acted dumb?
Bad things happen to good people. Failure happens to good people because failure happens to everyone. We can make excuses or curse our bad luck, but again, letting it go and moving on is a smarter response to failure.
Sometimes physical illness or disability keeps us from doing what we want to do. I don't understand the complexities of such a situation, but from having a disabled father, I can tell you this: Disabled people are always winners because of the courage and fortitude they show in their daily lives.
Rather than focusing on the "if onlys" of life, a smarter response to failure is to remember our victories, no matter how small or how few. God blesses you every time you try your best.
A smarter response to failure
For the sincere Christian, the most disappointing failure is sin. Millions of people live their lives in regret over disobeying God decades ago.
God doesn't want that for us. He wants us to confess, repent, and move forward. Knowing we can never live a perfect life is discouraging yet at the same time liberating. Christians know Christ has us covered
Listen to what God told the prophet Isaiah (43:25, NIV):
"I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more."
To God, forgiven sins are forgotten sins. The blood of Christ washes us clean for eternity.
If past failures are haunting you, put them in their proper perspective. Don't be intimidated by the "successful" people who make you feel like less-than. Remember, when it comes to righteousness, they're no better than you.
Jesus makes you a success, a person worthy to enter his kingdom. When it comes to what truly matters, he takes your broken past and makes all things new.
Put your faith in him. There is no smarter response to failure than that.
