Overcoming loneliness is one of the most important skills you can acquire

Overcoming loneliness is not only a lifelong task, but it's also a skill you need to acquire to enjoy a happy life.

And it is a skill. Too often, we let ourselves feel overwhelmed by lonely feelings. They're so intense that we think we're powerless to defeat them. This kind of pessimism can make you feel beaten before you even start.

Part of the problem comes from our society. We've been brainwashed into believing any kind of solitary state is disastrous. If you're not in the middle of a nonstop party, surrounded by friends, you're a loser, they tell us.


Loneliness is natural

The truth is that loneliness is a natural part of being human. It's not desirable, but it's often inescapable. It feels good to be accepted and loved. Positive feelings are generated when other people appreciate us for who we really are.

Realistically, however, sometimes we must be by ourselves. If you're single, you spend a lot of time by yourself. That's why it's absolutely vital that you learn to accept yourself. When you learn to sincerely like yourself instead of beating yourself up, you'll come a long way toward overcoming loneliness.

Taking a mature attitude goes a long way. Refusing to panic when you experience these feelings puts you in a better state of mind to defeat them.

How to slay the monsters under the bed

Overcoming loneliness is like shining a flashlight under the bed to prove no monsters are lurking there. When we get to the truth, it evaporates much of the fear.

Being alone is unpleasant, yes, sometimes even miserable, but it's not fatal. What's more, it can be a painful incentive to get you to take action. It forces you to decide: "What's less painful--staying lonely or overcoming my shyness?"

A small victory, such as reaching out to someone in a social situation, gives you more power. Every time you stretch yourself, your fear has less control over you.

You build confidence in yourself.

We Christian singles frequently underestimate ourselves. And we don't call on God's power as often as we should to help us become more capable.

Gain a powerful new perspective

You can make great strides in overcoming loneliness if you approach it as a doable task, like driving a car or learning to type. It's another life skill you must master, but when you take the fear factor out of it and forgive yourself when you overreact to it, you'll begin to see progress.

This is something you can do. Tackle it not as a pain that must be anaethesized, by the easiest escape method available, but as a puzzle to be solved. You can solve that puzzle in constructive ways that make you a stronger person or in self-destructive ways that make you feel even worse.

When loneliness strikes, stop and think. Calm yourself. Take a step back and look at the situation as objectively as you can. Reach out to a friend or family member. Turn to a hobby or other positive activity.

Understand that loneliness is not an excuse to wallow in self-pity but an opportunity to strengthen your relationship with God and with others.

More steps you can take to conquer this problem...

Are you sabotaging yourself with a passive attitude?

Use your mind instead of your emotions
to get the edge on loneliness

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When it comes to being a victim of your emotions, you do have a choice.

You don't have to be swept back and forth, like a cork in a tidal wave. You can learn to make your feelings obey you.

By training your mind, you can recognize and get the edge on lonely thoughts when they invade your life. Yes, this is something you can do.

Outsmarting Loneliness, Jack's new ebook, shows you four simple ways to beat lonely feelings. This is practical, real-world stuff, just like the helpful articles you've been reading on this site.

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